A Reflection

This summer has been one full of blessing.  When I think back on the summer my heart is so full that I don't really know how to put my thoughts into words which is why camp ended 3 weeks ago and I haven't written anything yet.  I still don't know how I am going to fully express myself in this, but I'm going to give it a go. :)

I spent my sixth summer working at Hidden Acres which was something I never thought would happen.  Actually, I never thought a fifth summer would happen.  Praise God for His plans not being my own always!  I worked as the T3 Coordinator this summer.  This is the job I had last summer, but Michael was working along with me in the same role.  Doing this job without Michael (or a partner at all) was a huge challenge throughout the summer.  Before I talk more about this, let me explain what exactly the T3 Coordinator does at Hidden Acres as very few people actually know what that is.  The T3 Coordinator is in charge of the T3 or Timothy Team program at camp.  This is a program where high school students come for two weeks and not only get to study God's word (this summer we studied Galatians) but they get the chance to practically practice loving others as Christ loved us which is in a self-sacrificing service.  They serve through setting up, tearing down, and working meals, as well as cleaning the buildings on camp.  As the coordinator I am in charge of creating the schedule, their cleaning teams, their meal teams and the meal schedule.  I also was in charge of distributing cleaning supplies to the various closets and ordering more when necessary.  I washed rags, mopheads, and towels.  I led meetings with my 5 counselors.  I helped at meals and with cleaning.  Sometimes I was in charge of picking up and dumping the trash.  If there was an issue with a camper or campers I was the one my counselors would go to.  ...I think that's most of it, bahaha I can't even remember :)

Anyways, so that was my job...filled with many blessings and challenges.  Let me describe a few of the challenges I faced this summer.  Leading without a partner was the most difficult part of this summer.  Yes, I had a team of counselors working with me (and I will talk about those beloved people later) but their job was different from mine.  It was hard to be the authority figure at different times.  I can be very no-nonsense when things need to be fixed or done differently, but sometimes I have a tendency to come off as too harsh.  This led to a somewhat strained relationship with different staff this summer and as the weeks progressed I learned to speak with more gentleness and love when correcting others.  Along the same lines it is hard for a woman to be the authority figure over young men, especially when using the Bible to correct.  But God provides...more on this to come :)  The second most challenging part of this job was when things would not run according to plan.  There is A LOT of thinking and planning that goes into T3 and everything can "fall apart" with very little effort.  A few stressful situations include: running out to toilet paper or paper towels to distribute, individuals not showing up to work meals on time, clogged toilets, rags and mopheads not getting cleaned, people getting sick, people waking up late, rain on Fridays, missing supplies from closets, etc.  All of these things happened at least once this summer, many times in combinations.  When things went wrong I felt like I needed to be in many places at once which was easier with a partner in leadership because we could have divided and conquered.  That was not possible with one of me.  Oh how often I cried out to God for help.  And He answered :)

Ah Praise the Lord.  Because of Him I can look back on this summer with joy and laughter and love.  He filled the summer with blessing despite the many challenges.  Here are a few of the blessing He gave me this summer:

My Counselors 
I had five wonderful counselors to work with this summer.  I didn't know any of them very well at the beginning and I laugh when I think back to our first group interaction :)  God used staff training to bond us in a special way which led to a positive relationship throughout the summer.  We bonded through cleaning, meals, planning, and most importantly through God's word.  We studied Galatians together before the campers came and this was easily my favorite part of the summer.  Here is a picture of our studying...

They were my biggest blessing this summer.  They took me seriously and were hard workers.  When there was need for correction they took it and ran with it.  They stood beside me when I was discouraged and prayed with and for me.  They were honest with me and helped with difficult situations.  I dearly, dearly love each and every one of them.  My summer would not have been the same without them. 

Friends
I was blessed this summer with wonderful friends.  My original camp friends have all left (other than Carter who was also a HUGE blessing this summer), but this summer God gave me friends in Sarah, Liz, and the four girl quad leaders.  I was less lonely this summer because of them.  They gave me encouragement through speaking with them and simply watching them live their lives.  I could say so much more, but will refrain.  Seriously though, such blessings. 

Campers
My goodness...I loved my T3 campers this summer.  Yes, they brought different challenges, but what joy they brought as well.  Each group was different but each served well.  God blessed me with the ability to learn all of their names this summer which just helped me to love them more.  I didn't interact with them like their counselors did, but I was sad each Friday to see them go.

Everything Else
I also had very positive relationships with many other people on staff whether that was summer or permanent staff.  They always brightened my day and often a greeting or smile from them reminded me that I was not alone in this life and pursuit of glorifying God. 

This summer was filled with God's word.  It was filled with fellowship.  It was filled with conviction.  It was filled with love.  I was more in awe of God's love and grace than ever before.  I was also more aware of my desperate need for Him at all times.

Oh my...I have written so much and feel I still have not done the summer justice.  It was good.  I wouldn't change it for anything.  In fact, it was such a good summer that I am so very sad to know it will (probably) be my last.  Ah, to think I never thought I would come back two years ago...Praise the Lord for His plan!  How I wish I could take out my heart and allow you to just read it to see how deeply blessed I have been by this summer at camp. 

Thank you to those of you who prayed for me.  Thank you for those of you who worked with me. 

All Glory be to God!

Reason #346

Wow, 20 days have passed since I began this countdown...that's almost 3 weeks!  Which is almost a month!  Bahaha, still so much time between now and our wedding day.  Sometimes this wait seems like it will be an eternity but other times I am able to recognize this time for what it is, a blessing.  It is such a gift to have this time to prepare to be Michael's wife.  Gleaning knowledge from other married couples and spending time in prayer are two things that I will be spending a lot of time doing these next 346 days.  I think one thing that makes this wait seem so long and awful sometimes is the fact that Michael and I have been apart for most of the summer and this will be the same next spring.  This summer I have definitely been reminded of my dislike for goodbyes (especially when I am sharing that farewell with Michael).  However, as I alluded to before, I recognize that God has given us not only this time to wait but also this time to be apart for a reason.  He is good and He loves us and we are to best glorify Him where we are at.  Sometimes I think Michael is better at this than I am, but I am certainly praying about this and striving to bring all praises to Him as we go through this wait and time apart.

And with that, here is today's reason for why I want to marry Michael Andrew Olson...

Reason #346: I am myself around you.

I have a tendency to be shy and reserved unless I feel comfortable around people or am thrust into a situation where I need to be leading.  However, even when I feel comfortable around people that does not mean I am fully being myself around them.  This has improved as I have gotten older and have longer been seeking to fix my eyes on Christ and not myself, but it has been a struggle.

I haven't always been myself around Michael...for example when we started dating, it we were taking pictures together (just the two of us) I had a really hard time smiling so instead I would make a face of some sort...here are some pictures:

Now granted, there were pictures of us smiling from these times, but I still remember how tense I was for some reason...ridiculous?  Of course!  Another thing I struggled doing around him was eating.  I was just so self-conscious about what I ate!  I would make sure I took really small portions and didn't get anything I liked that may have seemed weird (black olives would be an example of this).  I was nervous about this one for way longer than I needed to be...

I remember the first time I sang in front of Michael...that was a struggle, and I remember how hard it was for me to dance around him and do many other things.

But that is not the case anymore (and hasn't been for quite some time), I am able to be completely myself around him whether that's being goofy or sad, sharing his food or drink, telling him different things about myself, etc.  And he loves me still and I love him for that and for who he is.

So, Michael, thanks for being patient with me as I slowly became comfortable around you...you are my best friend and I love you and I am so excited to be marrying YOU in 346 days!  ♥

Reason #362

I love my fiancé and I am so excited to marry him.  I was thinking the other day about how we are going to be apart a lot this next year and how sometimes we have off days and I know that I never want him to question why I would want to marry him.  So I decided last week to make a list of the 366 reasons why I want to marry him and I am giving him one reason a day for the next year.  Some of them would be deal breakers while others wouldn't be.  They aren't in any particular order and I am delivering them in different ways.  I thought I would share this one with you. 

Reason #362 why I want to marry Michael Olson: I LOVE his smile! 

I love this smile when it's related to something I said, when it's because he's looking at me, when God is teaching him something, when he's worshiping, when it's around his family and friends, when he's laughing, when he's surprised, when he's whooping and hollering on a roller coaster or water slide, etc.  I just love to see it!  When I am away from him there are many times I look through pictures so I can see his smile.  When he came to visit me last weekend, I was so excited to see him smile and to be a reason for that smile. 

Here are a few of the pictures I love of him smiling...

Early on in our relationship :)

Our six month anniversary of dating!

Loving going to the same college together.

1 Year Anniversary Date :)

He smiles a lot when we baby-sit!

Zoo date--a favorite :)

Taking pictures for two years in 2010 :)

:)

An ice skating date last fall :)

So so so excited to officially be marrying this man on June 16, 2012!!!

:)  These pictures make me smile.  I am so looking forward to seeing his smile in person again in 11 days!!

God is Good!

God is awesome!  Wow, seriously praise the LORD!  He is mighty, He is all knowing and all wise, He is perfect and holy and He is good.  Hallelujah!

I am currently at staff training for my 6th summer of work at Hidden Acres and let me tell you, God is blessing me richly in many ways and I wanted to share some of that with you.

First of all, this last semester at college I went through a Bible study on 1 John with a campus pastor and the other Shift team leaders.  This study made me HUGELY aware of my sin and thus so much more aware of God's amazing grace!  As a result I am seeking God more in repentance for more sins that exist especially in my heart and my mind.  And, God has blessed me with JOY in the salvation He has given me.

At camp this summer we are studying the book of Hebrews which is filled with the Gospel and the declaration of Christ being King and above everything!  I am so excited to continue to see this incredible truth in Hebrews this summer and in Galatians (the book my T3ers will be studying) and in my personal devotions.  God's word is awesome and filled with God's love for his people.

This summer is also kind of hard, ok it's really hard.  Michael and I are in completely different places this summer as he has an internship in the cities.  We have never spent a summer apart for as long as we have known each other.  That alone is hard enough, but to make things a little more rough I am doing the exact same job I did with Michael last summer.  The last week and a half has been very lonely at times and I have had to cry out to God to satisfy me alone and to walk with me and to continually fill me with His truth.  It has also been humbling to realize I cannot do this alone.  I cannot do this job the exact same way as last summer.  Not only are my counselors different and will my campers be different, but I cannot coordinate as two people.  It is not possible.  I struggle with wanting control and with seeking the approval of man in what I do, and God has shown me early on this summer that those are not what He wants for me.  Those are idols that need to be cast aside and stomped on.

Despite the pain and loneliness that this summer has already brought (and that I will probably continue to struggle with),  I am so thankful to be here, so thankful that God continues to shape and mold me into more of His image despite my selfishness and wanderings.  He is truly good.  I praise Him for the convictions He has already given me and for His faithfulness thus far that will continue.

I apologize if this was jumbled, my heart is just very full and I wanted to share it with those who care enough to read my little blog.  I also wanted to ask for prayer:

1. Pray that God would continue to show me the Gospel in scripture and that I would take joy and full reliance in that truth.  
2. Pray that as God continues to humble, mold, and shape me this summer that I would turn to him always.  Not inward in self-pity.  
3. Pray that I would continually be seeking God; loving God and loving others as I am called to as a Christ follower.  

Finally, I just want to share the lyrics of a hymn we sang the other night in worship.  It blessed my heart with the truth it proclaimed.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace,
One in Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!

The start of a new chapter ♥

Oh boy :)  Well, let me share the story of my April 30, 2011...

This last week was very full and busy.  I was finishing my classes for the semester which entailed homework assignments, an interview final, and a two-week social studies unit.  As a result Michael and I didn't see a ton of each other which was too bad after Easter, but we were planning to hang out on Saturday because Friday I had a Shift (campus ministries) Dinner and we were celebrating my roommate Roz's birthday.  So Saturday it was.  I was looking forward to it all week long, the short times seeing Michael were good but I need some longer time with my boyfriend :) 

The week passed along with Friday night and BAM it was Saturday :)  I had handbells that morning from about 10:30-noon as we had a concert the next day.  Afterward I had lunch with some of the girls before heading back to get all clean and pretty for my man :)  Shortly after I got back I got a phone call from Michael asking if I was back, I said yes and he said he had some orange juice for me (my throat had been scratchy and sore the night before so he had gotten me some).  So I went and got that from him and then we got ready for the day.  I decided to wear the new top I got over Easter and was pretty excited about it.  It took me a little while to get ready because I wanted to look nice for him since I was going to have him all afternoon and that night we were planning to have a game night at Jason and Claire's (his brother and sister-in-law). 

Well eventually I got downstairs and we just hung out.  We played some Angry Birds, he showed me some other basketball game on his new iPhone and then we decided to play Golf (the card game).  Usually Michael beats me in this game but today he was just not doing well.  He was just not thinking clearly, it was RIDICULOUS and so funny!  There were numerous times where he would flip over the card he needed to cancel something out and would ignore it unless I pointed it out to him.  One time he ended the game and didn't realize it until after he tried to take another turn!  Seriously, so funny :)  Needless to say, I kicked his butt.  Then we were off to dinner at Red Lobster (we had coupons--YAY!)  Dinner was delicious and it was so nice to just go out on a little dinner date with him!

We were supposed to be over at Jason and Claire's around 7:30 and were a little late leaving the restaurant.  Claire worked nursery that night so she wouldn't be back quite yet anyways.  When we got there we buzzed the apartment like usual and Jason buzzed us in.  As we were going up he was coming down to take out the trash and told us we could go on in.  We walked in and this is what we saw...

A fancy red carpet, candles, rose petals, roses...and my first thought was "Huh, why is Jason doing this for Claire now?"  And then I saw my Tiger Donny holding a ring box (Michael gave me Donny a few days before we started dating as a birthday present)...then I was thinking "Oh my goodness.  Wow!  Oh my gosh, this is for me!  Holy cow, wow, what?!?!  Oh my gosh this is going to happen!"  Michael looked at me and hugged me and then we walked down by the fireplace.  We stopped and we may have hugged again, and he just looked at me and said "I don't know if I can say anything"  to which I replied "You kind of have to say something" and after a few more seconds he did :)  He said some things about being attracted to me the first time we met and how he wanted to get to know me better early on.  He talked about when our relationship existed only as a prayer in his heart.  He talked about how we started dating and how his love has grown for me and how he wants to continue glorifying God with me and our lives.  He then took the ring box from Donny, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him to which I replied yes!  He gave me the ring and I put it on my finger (perfect fit!) and yes :)  Then we hugged and smooched and I said thank you and we were both just so kind of in shock that it had happened and we were ENGAGED!!!!  Something we had been talking about for so long!  Oof!  So we kind of giggled and talked a little and then we sat down and Michael prayed for us. 

It was beautiful and I am so so so thankful! 

We then began making some phone calls and sharing the exciting news!  Jason and Claire came home with Claire's brother and their two children (my future nephew and niece!!!!  YAY!!!!) and they brought a celebration cake (which was DELICIOUS) and yes :)  It was a wonderful night of calling my parents and siblings and grandparents, texting a few people, greeting the roommates and putting it on Facebook with our the pictures Claire took for us. 

My parents came up today for my handbell concert along with Charley, Jos, and Sam so they were able to celebrate with us too! 

I am still finding it a little surreal and am just feeling so blessed and loved by all the responses we have been getting.  I haven't completely cried yet, but the reality really is beginning to hit me and I think those joyful tears will be coming before too long :) 



I love my ring, it is beautiful, but even more so I love the man who gave it to me.  I'm so thankful he wants to spend the rest of his life glorifying God with me.  Thank you God for blessing me so richly!

...a few more pictures for your viewing delight if you please... :)

Our first picture as an ENGAGED couple :)

Mmm yes :)

Starting on the phone calls!

A view of my beautiful new ring!

We are so excited!

:)

We're really going to get married!!!!

I love this one!

♥

By the candle heart

A little smooch :)

Yummy celebration cake and Michael's adorable little niece!

Hanging out after all of the happenings :)

  Oh, and a final note for those of you who wonder...no we have not set a date yet...but it will happen SOON, we are thinking between two and when we know...well anyone who knows me, knows I love me a good countdown so I probably won't be able to keep it to myself...HA like I would want to keep that EXCITING news to myself :) 

Thanks for reading our story, hope you enjoyed! 

A visit to UNI :)

Last weekend Michael and I took a little road trip down to UNI to visit some friends.  Michael spent the weekend with Carter and I got to hang out with Amy!  It was so great.  Friday night was Amy's personal shower, I'm so excited for her to be getting married in a little under a month!  The rest of the weekend was spent going shopping, making some food, playing some cards, and talking a lot.  It was so fun to get to spend some time with her.  Saturday night we spent some time with Jenscie.  She wasn't feeling well so we just spent the time watching movies on her bed.  I loved getting to see them!  It made me think back to the times we would hang out during high school so I thought I would post some of those pictures just for fun :)

Come as you are day senior year

Our last parade!

Amy and I before Sweetheart Ball senior year

Jenscie, myself, Janea and Amy at NHS induction senior year

Jens and I at prom :)

Amy and I at camp

Small group frosting sugar cookies!

Like I already said, I loved getting to see Amy so much and to spend some time with Jens.  I'm very thankful for  these girls and the role they played in my life in high school.  Amy and I have also gotten a lot of opportunities to hang out and just talk in the last few years and I always leave feeling very blessed to have a friend like her. 

A lesson from David

I have had the most ridiculous last week.  I was in my fourth grade practicum classroom all week which was a blast and I got to teach a few lessons which I continue to learn from, but it was exhausting!  Planning lessons and doing homework for Friday makes for a rough week.  But, God is good all the time and He has been teaching me a lot through his word lately and I wanted to share one of those things with you. 

I've been reading through the Bible in a year and am currently in 1 and 2 Samuel.  The other day I was reading 1 Samuel 26 where David spares Saul's life a second time after finding him sleeping in a cave.  The part that got me was when Saul found out that David had not killed him he says to David "Because you considered my life precious today, I will not try to harm you again."  I have always known that David was a man after God's own heart and his interactions with Saul really display this.  Few people would consider the life of their enemy precious, but David did!  How cool!  Later in the book when Saul dies, David weeps for him.  I was convicted of this this week, especially on Wednesday when I was rushing to get from one place to the next.  I was driving on campus and some girls were walking in the middle of the road, there were also skateboarders taking up a significant portion of the driving space.  I found myself getting frustrated with these individuals for being in my way and then I thought of David and his interactions with Saul.  I reminded myself that their lives are precious and that they themselves are loved and created by God.  Somehow remembering that helps to put things back in perspective.  It serves as a reminder that I am to love those whom God has placed in my life at any point in time. 

Conviction is hard, but I am SO THANKFUL for it!  What a blessing to be able to recognize one's sin and repent in the safety of God's grace!  He is good!  Every day is filled with choices to make, we can choose to follow God and love or we can choose to do what we want and show hatred towards others.  I am thankful for the example David is in following after God's heart and the Psalm of repentance he wrote (Psalm 51).  Praise God for his word and the truth and life we are able to receive from it!