Goal Summary

Now that we're almost 1/12 of the way through 2012 I though I would share some of my goals for this year.  I have been thinking about these things for the last few months and here is what I have come up with...

• Spiritually: This is the section with the most subpoints, but I also think it is the most important.  I desire to come to know more about my loving God.  I hope to read through the Bible in a year again.  I am also striving to memorize one verse a week using the fighter verses from Bethlehem Baptist.  I am striving to be more purposeful in my prayer life.  Finally, during my time at home I am involving myself in a Bible study with other women and when Michael and I get married I am hoping we can get involved in a small group with other couples.  
• Physically: I am striving to exercise at least 5 days a week.  Currently I am taking part in an exercise class with my mom M-F.  
• Intellectually: I really want to read more.  I am hoping to read at least one book per month and I am right on track for that as I completed The Help in January.  
• Odds and Ends: Learn how to make origami flowers for the wedding (met this goal this weekend, but still have A LOT of paper folding to do) and I also want to improve on my cooking skills so I can feed my man yummy meals.  

Thus far God has been gracious in giving me success in these goals.  It is my prayer that I will be more purposeful this year.  I want to be more intentional in relationships.  I want to learn to love Michael more each day.  I do not want to be selfish with "my" time (which really isn't mine anyways). 

God is good and to be praised.  I am thankful for the growth that has occurred in January and look forward to what He has in store for the next 11 months. 

Home

Well here we are, over a week into 2012.  I have been pondering my goals for this year and have begun to work on some of them.  I will probably post them sometime soon, but today I just wanted to talk about living at home.

I am loving living at home!  Here are a few of the things I love about it (in no particular order) :)

• I love getting to spend a lot of time with my family.  
• I appreciate that I can go to work out class with my mom in the morning
• I like being around to work on wedding things.  
• I enjoy working in town
• I love sharing a room with my sister!
• I am a fan of the queen sized bed and electric blanket!
• I am excited to begin a Bible study with my mom on Monday nights!
• I get to participate in a handbell ensemble at a church in my town with my grandma, aunt, and a few other relatives.  
• I have more time to read, play games, and relax!  
• I get to go to work/school with the rest of my family
• I like to walk my dogs and pet them
• I'm excited for the other people I get to see at home

There are probably other things I could list, but that's a pretty solid list :)

I should also mention that there is one thing that I miss while being home...Michael.  It is not a ton of fun to be away from him, but it is only for a little while and we will get to see each other in between.  For now we talk on the phone often and I look at pictures regularly :)

Memories of a Closing Chapter ♥

It's hard to believe, but I am in my last 24(ish) hours of college--HOLY COW!!!  Where did those years go?  I look at the people I have been sharing life with over the last 3.5 years and it seems strange that this period of our lives is coming to a close.  Some of my friends have already graduated and others will be in school until May or even next December, but my college chapter ends tomorrow.  As this day has come closer I have done a lot of reflecting on this journey.  I have grown so much throughout my time at Bethel, especially spiritually.  This is something I am so very thankful for.  Bethel is by no means a perfect school, but God has truly blessed me through it.  My reflecting has also brought to mind many favorite memories of my college years and I would like to share a list of them with you.  :) 

• Baby-sitting Jonas and Freya--What a blessing it has been to get to spend time with Michael's niece and nephew and to see them grow and change.  I love those kiddos and am so excited to meet baby boy when he comes!  Here are a few pictures :)

•  Shift--Both my sophomore and junior years I was involved with this campus ministry that reaches out to freshmen.  My sophomore year I had a floor of freshman and junior year I was in charge of a team of Shift leaders with a partner.  It was a wonderful experience full of challenges and spiritual growth.  So very thankful for this.

• J-Term Abroad--During January my sophomore year I went to England with the Education department.  We spent some time in schools helping in the classrooms and also got to do some touring.  During this time I also got to go to Paris (for 24 hours) and Ireland (for 5 days).  

•  CWC--very few people have happy memories from this class as a whole.  It is our Christianity and Western Culture class.  I took it freshman year and did really well and was a TA in it throughout my sophomore and beginning of junior year.  It was so fun to be involved and to help others learn.  I love seeing how Christianity and culture have interacted throughout history.  It was challenging and I learned a lot from the professors and my peers.  

• Dates with Michael--My relationship with Michael and grown a lot through college.  We started dating before Bethel, but did not have a close distance relationship until we went to school together.  It has been such a blessing spending time with him on a regular basis.  We have gone on a number of fun dates (Vikings games, apple orchards, ice skating, Valley Fair, etc.)

• Red Box with Tina--Freshman year I would have dates with my friend Tina and on multiple occasions we would go to several red boxes looking for a specific movie and after we could not find it, we would swing by target and just buy it instead.  I am now older and wiser and know to look online first, but it was so much fun then!  :)

• Lake Day--Every spring during finals week I went to Lake Johanna with a few friends on Study Day.  This was always a fun time to just relax in the middle of a stressful time.  Here is a picture from last year: 

•  Ina with Roz--Last year during J-term my roommate Roz and I began watching Ina Garten on the food network.  It was so fun to spend this time with Roz :)  We love us some Ina!

• Double Piercings--One of my first memories with my roommate Leah was getting our ears double pierced together freshman year.  So fun to remember our early days of living together :)

• Christmas Banquet Freshman Year--Each year Bethel has a Christmas banquet where students can get dressed up and pay to go eat good food somewhere else and have a dance.  Michael and I only went to this freshman year, but it was a wonderful night.  We had a lot of fun with friends and this was the first time Michael told me he loved me :)  

•  Two Weeks Notice--This was a favorite movie of my roommates and myself mostly sophomore year and a little bit junior year.  We laugh throughout it, but I would have to say one of our favorite quotes is "Did you say 'Billy, I love you'?" :)  bahaha

• Handbells--I was involved in the handbell ensemble junior year and it was so fun!  I loved learning how to play :)

• Wicked Sophomore Year--Fall of sophomore year my friends Tina, Brittany, and Danielle came to Iowa with me over Fall Break and we went to Wicked in Des Moines.  My sister Charley also got to come with :)

•  The Fog with Brittany--There was another time Brittany came home with me and when we were driving back to Bethel, there was the most ridiculous fog!  It was both scary and exciting and now I always think of Britt when I am in foggy weather :)

• Undie Exchange--Instead of doing regular Christmas presents, each year my roommates and I have drawn names and gotten each other a pair of underwear.  So fun :)

• Family Coming to Visit--I love when people come to visit me, especially when it is my family.  This has happened on several occasions and have been some of my favorite times in college.  

• Cars Buried in Snow--Now, most wouldn't find this to be a happy memory, but last year when we got a lot of snow, my roommates and I bundled up and worked together to dig out our cars.  It was a pretty good workout and pretty funny :)

• Tina Coming Home from England--My friend Tina studied abroad spring of sophomore year and the night she got home Brittany and I planned to surprise her with her family at the airport.  That in and of itself would have been fun and memorable, but when you add to it the fact that her flight was delayed over and over again and we got lost on the way back and you have an exceedingly memorable night.  

• Solo Video--This kind of goes with the previous memory, Brittany and I 'danced' to the song solo and in a video and sent it to Tina.  So funny...still makes me laugh when I watch it :)  

• Iowa Trip Junior Year--Fall of junior year my roommates and I drove to Northwestern Iowa for a weekend.  It was a blast!  Here are a few pictures from that weekend: 

•  Bible Classes--I have taken a number of Bible classes throughout my semesters and they have been challenging and full of growth.  I have learned so much and love my Savior so much more as a result.  What a blessing!  

• Game Nights with Jason and Claire--We have spent a great many Friday/Saturday/Sunday nights with Michael's brother and sister-in-law playing games.  It has been both a blessing and a blast getting to know them better.  I will miss these when I live in Iowa in the spring.  

• Bangs--My roommate Roz and I decided we wanted to get bangs last Friday...so we did!  We were having a girls' night with Brittany and she helped us cut them!  

• Student Teaching--Oh my goodness...I cannot even begin to express how wonderful this experience was.  I've said it before and I'll say it again: I had an awesome teacher and precious third graders.  I grew so much in my teaching and confidence.  I am so very very thankful for the fourteen weeks I had with them.  

• Getting Engaged--One of the best nights of my life...hands down.  It was such a great day and Michael managed to surprise me and ah, so good :)  So excited to be marrying Michael in 184 days (SIX MONTHS TOMORROW!!!!!)  Here are a few pictures from then...

This is by no means a complete list, there are several other things I could add.  These college years have been very full...it has not always been happy, but I am thankful to have so many happy memories :)

For those of you who are interested in my "next step" I will be moving back home on Saturday and Monday I begin a new job as a teacher's aid at the elementary school I grew up in.  That and wedding planning will keep me busy throughout the spring.  I am very excited to get to live at home and spend time with my family, but I will definitely miss Michael (and others up here).  Excited to see what God has in store for these next six months and this chapter of life between college and marriage :)  Praise the Lord for his faithfulness!

Changes Up Ahead

It's been a while so I figured it was time to provide some semblance of an update.

I currently have 18 days left of college.  That is kind of crazy to me.  In some ways I cannot wait for it to end, but of course there is some bitter to the sweet.

My plan after graduation is to move back home for 6 months.  I will get my Iowa subbing license and try to do some subbing around the area.  I will finish planning the wedding.  I will spend time with my family.  I will practice cooking.  I am really really looking forward to this time, but there is one drawback...Michael does not graduate until May and will still be at Bethel :(  I am really not looking forward to being away from him for so long...but this is where God is leading us for this season and we will be seeking to bring him glory through it! 

As I am graduating soon, that means my student teaching is coming to an end.  This continues to break my heart every time I think about it.  I have had the best experience student teaching.  I am  not excited for this to end.  I do not want to leave my kids.  This week I am teaching the same students but with a different teacher so I could have some more experience with math and social studies.  This has been fun!  I just really enjoy teaching and helping students to learn and grow.  Student teaching has been a huge blessing and I will be very sad to bid it farewell.

Closing thoughts: perspective is a powerful thing.  I can look at the end of this semester and its changes in a plethora of ways.  Each brings with it different emotional responses ranging from exhilarated to borderline heartbroken.  I have been battling with it a lot in the past few weeks.  I have been striving to fix my eyes on Jesus who is my only true constant.  It is in these times of change that I am so thankful for my worth being in Christ alone.  Not in lessons taught, students loved, family, fiancé, friends, tests, graduation, weight, money, energy, etc.  I could go on and on with the list of things that vie for my attention these days.  So as I strive towards the goal of graduation, I am reminded of the more important goal ahead and strain all the more for that day. 

An encounter

I am the kind of person who likes to be ahead on things.  This, I have found, can annoy other people.  But, while I often strive to be on top of things and ahead of the game, I still am skilled in the art of procrastinating.  I am procrastinating right now.  Sometimes people procrastinate just to procrastinate, some like the excitement of cutting it close on time, and I am sure there are other reasons why people choose to put off doing things.  My reason is because I hate what I have to do.  This weekend I have been working on things for my teaching license.  I hate this because...

1. It is overwhelming and stressful
2. It is really important
3. It is a lot of work
4. It is slow

And other reasons could be added...primarily what it comes down to is: I am afraid I am going to fail.

College has blessed me in a lot of ways; it has stretched my mind and taught me many things, but something else it has done is taken away a lot of my confidence in my academic ability.  I could coast pretty easily in high school, that has not been the case in a handful of college classes (ahem, MATH).  This started the second half of my freshman year and has carried on to the present, I used to be pretty confident in my mathematics, however, that is not so much the case anymore.  This lack of confidence has fizzled its way into other areas as well...such as paper writing and teaching lessons.  If you combine these two you more or less is get what TPA (Teacher Performance Assessment) is.  I don't think I am doing a good job explaining this...I am working on showing a group of people that I am qualified and capable to teach and should receive a teaching license.  This is being done through lessons I taught and taped, commentaries on the planning and the assessment of the students.  No big deal right?  No.  It seems like a huge deal to me right now.  I feel like I've put forth all this time in college and this one little thing could ruin it all if I fail. 

Which brings me to Jesus.  How?  Well let me share with you...all of this work, work, work and stress, stress, stress trying to earn something.  Without Christ I would continually have to be working and stressing about my salvation and about life after death which is MUCH higher stakes than a teaching license.  But, I do not have to work any more!  I can rest in Christ and the promise I have in Him.  I'm not talking about laziness here, I am talking about confidence and freedom from worry and work and concern.  As a servant of Christ I am free from those things, all I am called to do now is love and follow Him, and in turn love and serve those around me. 

I have been reminded today about Galatians and the freedom that comes through Christ ("It is for freedom that we have been set free").  How sweet.  I read today in John where Jesus speaks to the Samaritan woman about living water "...but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.  Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (John 4: 13)  And it is true.  I have tasted the living water and I need nothing else.  I am complete it Christ. 

So I guess what I am trying to say is that while I do have to work to complete my teaching license requirements and graduate and a whole slew of other things, I do not have to work for my salvation.  Even if I fail at those things listed, it does not change the fact that I am no longer dead in my sin, but alive in Christ!  What peace that brings.  Striving after things in this world cannot bring you that peace, seeking comfort in other religions will not work.  Only the Prince of Peace can save us from ourselves and give us the hope we so desperately need. 

And so I close with "Hallelujah!  What a savior!  Hallelujah!  What a friend--saving, helping, keeping, loving!  He is with me to the end!"

A brief update...

I am not wanting to read yet...so I decided to give a brief update on my life. 

School
I moved back to Bethel at the end of August for my final semester in college (if I'm not mistaken I have less than 80 days left...I'm not wishing it away, numbers just interest me).  This semester I am student teaching and I love it!  I have one placement for 14 weeks in a 3rd grade classroom.  My teacher rocks, the grade level team I am with is incredible, and my students have stolen my heart.  There have been several challenges and my busiest weeks are still coming, but it has been wonderful thus far.  I have learned so much and very much look forward to what else I will learn.  I am currently teaching about 3/4 of the time and am adding more each week.

I am also taking a night class this semester called Family Interactions.  This class is very interesting.  It focuses a lot on the importance of communication within families and to show this, my professor has divided the class into four family groups where we each have specific roles.  For example, my family consists of a working mother, a stay-at-home dad, twin middle schoolers, and myself as a pregnant teenager (so much for surviving teen pregnancy :))  Each week we get together in our family groups and are given a scenario and have to interact and communicate within our roles for 30-45 minutes.  Needless to say, it is very interesting. 

Wedding Planning
 Honestly, this is kind of at a standstill right now.  We have pretty much all the big things figured out, it's mostly just the details that are left and we have lists for these.  I would really like to work on this some more, but with my schedule and Michael's schedule currently it is hard to find time, and often difficult to find motivation when we just want to relax. 

We are doing two things for it not this weekend but the next one.  We will be taking engagement pictures (still no idea what we are wearing yet...) and hopefully tasting a cake!  Definitely excited about BOTH of those things :) 

Oh, and we have also started our marriage counseling.  So good and so very excited for more of it!

Other General Details...

• I am loving living near Michael again!  It is such a blessing to have him in the same building as me and to get to see him every day!
• I had a wonderful last weekend when my cousin Jess came to visit and we drove to Wisconsin to see Jordan and his girlfriend who was visiting.  What a fun and blessed weekend that was.  
• I miss home.  I've been homesick for a few weeks now and can hardly wait the last 9 or so days...I'm so excited to see my parents and my siblings...ah how I miss them!  (I especially missed my mom last night when I got sick-sick for the first time in a long time and had to clean up after myself all alone :(  )
• I have an exam this Saturday morning for my teacher's license that I am kind of nervous about.  I would appreciate prayer if you think of it.  I took a different one two weeks ago and I don't think it went terribly well.  

There are so many other things I could say, I am sure, but I need to actually do some reading now...blah :)

As always, I am forever thankful for God's grace and love and I am thankful to be a new creation through Christ.

A Reflection

This summer has been one full of blessing.  When I think back on the summer my heart is so full that I don't really know how to put my thoughts into words which is why camp ended 3 weeks ago and I haven't written anything yet.  I still don't know how I am going to fully express myself in this, but I'm going to give it a go. :)

I spent my sixth summer working at Hidden Acres which was something I never thought would happen.  Actually, I never thought a fifth summer would happen.  Praise God for His plans not being my own always!  I worked as the T3 Coordinator this summer.  This is the job I had last summer, but Michael was working along with me in the same role.  Doing this job without Michael (or a partner at all) was a huge challenge throughout the summer.  Before I talk more about this, let me explain what exactly the T3 Coordinator does at Hidden Acres as very few people actually know what that is.  The T3 Coordinator is in charge of the T3 or Timothy Team program at camp.  This is a program where high school students come for two weeks and not only get to study God's word (this summer we studied Galatians) but they get the chance to practically practice loving others as Christ loved us which is in a self-sacrificing service.  They serve through setting up, tearing down, and working meals, as well as cleaning the buildings on camp.  As the coordinator I am in charge of creating the schedule, their cleaning teams, their meal teams and the meal schedule.  I also was in charge of distributing cleaning supplies to the various closets and ordering more when necessary.  I washed rags, mopheads, and towels.  I led meetings with my 5 counselors.  I helped at meals and with cleaning.  Sometimes I was in charge of picking up and dumping the trash.  If there was an issue with a camper or campers I was the one my counselors would go to.  ...I think that's most of it, bahaha I can't even remember :)

Anyways, so that was my job...filled with many blessings and challenges.  Let me describe a few of the challenges I faced this summer.  Leading without a partner was the most difficult part of this summer.  Yes, I had a team of counselors working with me (and I will talk about those beloved people later) but their job was different from mine.  It was hard to be the authority figure at different times.  I can be very no-nonsense when things need to be fixed or done differently, but sometimes I have a tendency to come off as too harsh.  This led to a somewhat strained relationship with different staff this summer and as the weeks progressed I learned to speak with more gentleness and love when correcting others.  Along the same lines it is hard for a woman to be the authority figure over young men, especially when using the Bible to correct.  But God provides...more on this to come :)  The second most challenging part of this job was when things would not run according to plan.  There is A LOT of thinking and planning that goes into T3 and everything can "fall apart" with very little effort.  A few stressful situations include: running out to toilet paper or paper towels to distribute, individuals not showing up to work meals on time, clogged toilets, rags and mopheads not getting cleaned, people getting sick, people waking up late, rain on Fridays, missing supplies from closets, etc.  All of these things happened at least once this summer, many times in combinations.  When things went wrong I felt like I needed to be in many places at once which was easier with a partner in leadership because we could have divided and conquered.  That was not possible with one of me.  Oh how often I cried out to God for help.  And He answered :)

Ah Praise the Lord.  Because of Him I can look back on this summer with joy and laughter and love.  He filled the summer with blessing despite the many challenges.  Here are a few of the blessing He gave me this summer:

My Counselors 
I had five wonderful counselors to work with this summer.  I didn't know any of them very well at the beginning and I laugh when I think back to our first group interaction :)  God used staff training to bond us in a special way which led to a positive relationship throughout the summer.  We bonded through cleaning, meals, planning, and most importantly through God's word.  We studied Galatians together before the campers came and this was easily my favorite part of the summer.  Here is a picture of our studying...

They were my biggest blessing this summer.  They took me seriously and were hard workers.  When there was need for correction they took it and ran with it.  They stood beside me when I was discouraged and prayed with and for me.  They were honest with me and helped with difficult situations.  I dearly, dearly love each and every one of them.  My summer would not have been the same without them. 

Friends
I was blessed this summer with wonderful friends.  My original camp friends have all left (other than Carter who was also a HUGE blessing this summer), but this summer God gave me friends in Sarah, Liz, and the four girl quad leaders.  I was less lonely this summer because of them.  They gave me encouragement through speaking with them and simply watching them live their lives.  I could say so much more, but will refrain.  Seriously though, such blessings. 

Campers
My goodness...I loved my T3 campers this summer.  Yes, they brought different challenges, but what joy they brought as well.  Each group was different but each served well.  God blessed me with the ability to learn all of their names this summer which just helped me to love them more.  I didn't interact with them like their counselors did, but I was sad each Friday to see them go.

Everything Else
I also had very positive relationships with many other people on staff whether that was summer or permanent staff.  They always brightened my day and often a greeting or smile from them reminded me that I was not alone in this life and pursuit of glorifying God. 

This summer was filled with God's word.  It was filled with fellowship.  It was filled with conviction.  It was filled with love.  I was more in awe of God's love and grace than ever before.  I was also more aware of my desperate need for Him at all times.

Oh my...I have written so much and feel I still have not done the summer justice.  It was good.  I wouldn't change it for anything.  In fact, it was such a good summer that I am so very sad to know it will (probably) be my last.  Ah, to think I never thought I would come back two years ago...Praise the Lord for His plan!  How I wish I could take out my heart and allow you to just read it to see how deeply blessed I have been by this summer at camp. 

Thank you to those of you who prayed for me.  Thank you for those of you who worked with me. 

All Glory be to God!