Thankful for Family

This post contains summaries of my families and also specific reasons why I am thankful for each person involved in my life through family.

I love my family.

I love the little family Michael and I share together.  While it is just the two of us for now, I love the foundation we are building through Christ that we will get to share with our children someday.  I cannot think about it without getting excited.

Michael--his God-centered wisdom, his generosity, his sense of humor

I love the family that I come from.

My parents are wonderful.  How great to have a mom and dad who love Jesus and have stressed his importance in our lives for as long as I can remember.  My parents seeking to honor God with their lives has played a huge role in shaping not only myself but also my brother's and sisters.  Each of us have our own faith, but our parents have been faithful witnesses to the truth.  It is also awesome to have parents who love each other.  Not everyone gets to witness a consistent and good marriage.  Seeing my parents relationship with each other has played a role in the way I act towards Michael as his wife.  Finally, I have been blessed with parents that love me and my siblings despite our imperfections.  I could go on and on and on about how much I love and appreciate my parents.

Dad--his spiritual leadership in our family, his genuine heart for others, his honesty
Mom--her nurturing actions, her positive attitude and joyful heart, her encouragement 

My brothers and sisters are four of my best friends.  We share many things in common.  We share a love for Jesus, we share a history, we share a similar sense of humor, we share some similar interests.  I love spending time with them.  I love sharing life with them.  I love playing and laughing with them.  I love singing with them.  I love the freedom we have to be ourselves around each other.  I love seeing their faith in their actions.  I love talking about Jesus with them.  I love that we can be honest with each other.  I love how Shelby, Sam, Charley, and Jos each play an important and irreplaceable role in our family.  

Shelb--her compassionate heart, her willingness to laugh, her honesty
Sam--his joyfulness, his silliness, his genuine love
Charley--her sense of humor, her genuine heart for others, her independence
Jos--his leadership among peers, his discipline, his good humor

I love how my family has welcomed Michael with open arms.

I love the family that I married into.  I love that they love Jesus.  I love that they have real relationships with one another.  I appreciate that they can be honest with one another.  I love how silly they can be.  I love their laughter.  I love their generous hearts.  I love how Michael's parents love their boys, their daughters-in-law, and their grandchildren.  I love having Jason and Claire as a brother-in-law and sister-in-law.  I love spending time with them.  I love have nephews and a niece who are cute and silly.  I love being a part of this family.

Dennis--his discipline and his generosity
Denise--her silliness and her willingness to serve others
Jason--his patience and his dedication to go above and beyond to make a difference
Claire--her activeness and her intentionality in relationships
Jonas--his enjoyment of others and his interest in learning and growing
Freya--her feisty attitude and her obvious love for others
August--his attempts to keep up with his brother and sister and his quick smile and laugh

I love my extended family.  I have loved growing up with grandparents and great -grandparents.  I love the legacy they have left for the families.  I love laughing, playing, and visiting with them.  I treasure the relationships we share.

Grandma Mert--her positive attitude
Grandma Book--her happiness
Grandpa Book--his sense of humor
Grandpa Sodey--his kindness towards others
Grandma Sodey--her enjoyment of others and relationships

Grandpa Butch--his joyful heart, his purposefulness in relationships
Grandma Diane--her gentle and quiet spirit, her servant heart
Grandpa Denny--his sense of humor and his supportive attitude/actions
Grandma Karen--her laughter and her care for others

I love having aunts and uncles.  I thankful for their involvement in my life.  I appreciate the ways they have shaped my parents.  I love having 16 cousins.  I love the unique relationships that we are able to share with one another.  I love laughing with them.  I love remembering with them.  I appreciate how our relationships have shifted and changed as we have gotten older.  While the relationships I have with each aunt, uncle, and cousin are different, there is something specific I appreciate about each other them.

Uncle Scott--his enjoyment of joking with others to and his sacrificial love
Uncle Brett--his sense of humor and his genuine care of others
Uncle Kent--his joy and his thoughtfulness towards others
Uncle Bruce--his laughter and his relational heart
Uncle Mark--his acts of service and his steadiness

Aunt Cathy--her purposeful investment in others and her creativity
Aunt Kelly--her silliness and her intentional relationships
Aunt Meg--her quick laugh and her honesty in interactions
Aunt Kim-- her gentleness and her love for others

Uncle Brent--his steadiness and his loving support of others
Uncle Marc--his good memory and his appreciation for laughter
Uncle Trevor--his interest in our families' pasts and his concern for others

Aunt Shauna--her dedication towards friends and family and her heart of service
Aunt Michelle--her discipline and patience towards others
Aunt Liz--her joyful heart and her ease in conversation

Jon--his drive to work hard and his dedication
     Katie--her confidence and her commitment to others
Jess--her discipline and her contribution to the lives of others
Max--his humor and his heart for others
     Kristin--her genuineness and her friendliness
Jordan--his leadership and his appreciation for goofy things
     Hannah--her easy-going attitude and her happy disposition
Steven--his thoughtfulness and his desire to always be the best version of himself
Jackson--his compassionate heart and his silliness
Beth--her purposeful attitude and her care for others
     T.J.--his hardworking attitude and his devotion
Nathan--his sense of humor and his certainty in who he is
Noah--his consistency and his willingness to help others
Natalie--her servant heart and her sweet nature
Nolan--his sensitive heart towards others and his playfulness

Maddie--her goal-driven attitude and her ability to let loose and be herself around others
Tanner--his ability converse and his good-natured attitude 
Kinz--her fun-loving disposition and her dedication towards others
Rachel--her confidence and her quick laugh
Mia--her sense of humor and her concern for others

Thankful for Truth

November is upon us and I am already feeling the excitement of the coming season.  In the next two months we will have Thanksgiving, Christmas and begin a new year.  I love this time of year.  It is a wonderful time to cozy up and reflect and through our reflecting learn and grow.  As November is the month that holds Thanksgiving, many are beginning to share their 30 days of thankfulness and I wanted to jump on the bandwagon in a way.  I know I will not have time to share an elaborate post on things I am thankful every day for the next month, but every few days I hope to share something I am very thankful for.

So let us begin...

I am thankful for Truth.  Truth is the triune, holy God.  

Truth is a rock and a fortress.  It is immovable.  It is unshakable.  It is unstoppable.  It does not depend on anyone or anything.  It has been before time began and it will remain forever.

We are only able to understand Truth through union and communion with God, and this can only occur through the Gospel.

I love the Gospel.  That a holy God would choose to pursue and save sinners through crushing his blameless son on a cross is absolutely incredible.  Our sermon at church last week stated that, "the cross is the great exchange of the universe," and it most certainly is.  The Gospel is only dependable and possible because it is based on God alone.  I am saved by HIM ALONE.  I have done NOTHING to deserve grace.  I did not seek him, he sought me.  I did not choose him.  He chose me.

That kind of absolute theology where we have no control can be scary for us as individuals as we desire to have control over things...especially control over our own lives.  It is hard for us to come to grasps with the fact that God is sovereign over all things--sun and rain, life and death, sheep and goats, the elect and the cursed.  I have been there and I get it.  I wrestled with that for over a year in college and I cannot say that I totally understand it now ...HOWEVER, there is so much that comes from the truth of the total sovereignty of God.

There is peace.  There is hope.  There is confidence.  There is love.  There is beauty.  There is adoration.  There is laughter.  There is crying.  There is worship.  There is much more.

God is I AM.  He is LORD.  He does not depend on anyone else.  His worth is found solely in himself.  He cannot be defined apart from himself because He alone is holy.  He is perfect in his holiness.  He is perfect in his Love.  He is perfect in his judgment.  He is God.

I think so often we try to put God in a box.  In fact, I have heard and read that phrase several times recently but in a different context.  God does not need our stamp of approval for what we think should be right and wrong.  Just because God hates sin (and He most certainly does) does not mean that He is not love.  God is love, but He is not a fluffy love.  He is not a love that says "Ok, I love you so you can do what you think is best and I will support you in that" NO!  He is a love that says "I am holy and I hate your sin.  In fact, I hate it so much that because I want you for myself, I will send my perfect son to earth to live perfectly among you.  He will take on your flesh.  He will walk like you, He will eat like you, He will laugh like you, He will cry like you, and He will die like you.  BUT  in his death will be undeserved because, unlike you, He will be perfect. For this reason the grave will not be able to hold him.  He will not stay dead.  He will rise and conquer death and create a way for you to be with me forever. You will become new through faith in him and repentance."  Sin is a HUGE deal to God.  It is such a big deal that Jesus not only had to leave his throne in Heaven, but He had to die.  God doesn't take any sin lightly and neither should we.  God is not wishy washy, He is absolute.  All sin leads to death.  There is no life in a lifestyle characterized by sin.  All lives are characterized by sin without Jesus.

It makes me sad when I come into contact with people who do not see and know this truth.  It happens every day.

It saddens me when people criticize people who stand by God's whole word as truth.  When they call us hateful and accuse us of fearing things that are different.  It saddens me not because I want the approval of others, but because I see they are missing the point.  They don't get it.

Because God has graciously allowed me to see and hear truth, I am confident in who He is and who I am in him.  My worth is not found in another's opinion of me.  How sweet to trust in Jesus.  I love the song "Cornerstone" by Hillsong.  I cannot listen to it without worshiping.  Hallelujah!  The Lord reigns forever.  He is over all!  He will never fail.

Listen to "Cornerstone" here...

Oh that more would come to know the true and reigning king.

The bedrock of our lives is the mercy of God.   Without Christ alone, no one would believe.  It is only through his grace that eyes can see truth and ears can hear truth and that hearts can respond to it.

Ah, Sweet Jesus.  Make your name known in my life.  May others see less of me and more of you.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly trust in Jesus name

When Darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil

Christ alone; cornerstone
Weak made strong; in the Saviour's love
Through the storm, He is Lord
Lord of all

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless stand before the throne.

Looking Back

I have found myself feeling quite nostalgic lately.  It all began when I looked at pictures of our old house that's for sale again.  We lived there until I was going into fifth grade and I have so many happy memories of living there (playing outside in the big yard and sledding down the little hill, dress up and barbies in the bedrooms, daily activities around the unique house, etc.).  Looking at the pictures made me miss it, even though it looks quite different from when we lived there.

Wednesday Jos started his junior year of high school, yesterday Shelb moved to college for her final semester, and today Charley is moving into college for her freshman year.  I find it hard to believe how old we are all getting.  Josiah is the only one of us kids living at home now.  I miss the days when all of us lived at home.  I always get sad when one of us leaves home because it is another small way growing up is changing our family.  The change is good and exciting, but it still makes me miss when we were younger and we were all still home together.  These thoughts tend to have a domino effect to reminding me of lots of other things I miss about being younger.  Things like sitting on my grandpas' laps, family walks or bike rides, watching shows like Pooh Bear, baking with my grandmas, etc.

Now don't get me wrong; I am thrilled with where I am at in life.  I love being married to Michael, and I am excited for what the future holds for us.

In my reminiscing, I have also found myself rejoicing and praising God for the many ways he has been faithful to me and my family throughout the years.  The Old Testament is filled with passages recounting how God has provided for his people and remained faithful to them.  He has been and will continue to be faithful to his people even when they are not faithful to him.  He is perfect in his faithfulness.  That means we, as his children, can always trust him and his plans for us, even when it doesn't make sense.  I love resting in that truth.  It is so humbling to know that God knows and loves me specifically, and it is truly amazing to recognize that he also knows and loves specifically everyone else in the world who has ever lived or will ever live.  What an awesome God! 

Summer Happenings

Wow, it's been a long time...I have been meaning to write for quite a while, but that obviously hasn't happened.  A lot has happened in the last four months.  Here are some of the high lights:

• I finished my last long-term subbing position of the year.  It was a challenging position, but I learned a lot and really enjoyed my time with those first graders.  
• Michael and I went to Italy with Matt and Amy.  We visited Cinque Terre, Rome, Florence, Venice, Milan, and Lake Como.  It was such a blessing to get to spend some time with them and to see more of God's beautiful creation.  We loved our time there!

• I got a job teaching kindergarten in the fall!  
• We spent some time in Orange City with Michael's family.  It was fun to see everyone and celebrate Jason's 30th birthday.  We relaxed, played badminton, went swimming, etc.  
• We have had several friends get married including Carter and Lindsey.  Their wedding was definitely a high light for our summer.  Carter is one of Michael's best friends and one of my favorite guys so we are thrilled that he found such a quality girl to marry and share life with.  They had a beautiful, God honoring ceremony and it was absolutely wonderful to get to celebrate with them.  

•   I went to Colorado with my family (poor Michael had to stay home and work because he was out of vacation days).  It was fun to spend time with my family and the friends we stayed with.  We went to the town of Boulder, toured the Broncos Stadium, visited the zoo (the tigers, gorillas, and orangutans were the best), got up early to try to climb a mountain (and were rained out), and many other things.  It was a blast!  

Some truths I have found encouraging this summer: 

• God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  He is faithful.  The same God who was the God of Abraham is the same God today and He cares for individuals and loves them specifically.  
• I am a trophy of grace.  God used his conquering power not to crush me in my sin, but to transform me into his likeness.   

A granddaughter's thoughts

Before I begin, let me just say that while this is relatively long, I could write more and still not to justice to my thoughts and feelings regarding this subject.

Last time I wrote I was preparing myself to say "goodbye for now" to someone who has been very influential in my life and who has always been very dear to me. My sweet Grandma Diane passed away on Sunday after a long battle with cancer. Leading up to her death there were a few things I knew would be true when her life on earth ended: that she would no longer have any pain, that she would be reunited with Jesus, and that despite those wonderful things I would miss her terribly until we met again.

It has been 5 days since she has been set free from her earthly body and I rejoice greatly that she is now with Jesus and no longer has any tears or pain, but my heart aches from missing her already. It is hard to say goodbye to someone you love. My Grandpa Butch died five years ago and I still sometimes find it hard to believe that he is gone.  This pain has doubled now that Grandma is gone.  I imagine in some capacity I will miss both of them for the rest of my life.

In adjusting to life without Grandma, I am clinging to the hope we have in Jesus as his beloved children. I don't know how people go through times like these without him. I know his timing is best and that He loved my grandma more than anyone else in this world (even more than Grandpa Butch did, and he loved her A LOT)! How sweet to be able to trust in Jesus...

In addition I am also remembering how blessed I was to have her as a grandma and all the wonderful memories I have of her.

When I think of Grandma Diane, I think of...

• A woman who was selfless and kind
• A woman who didn't fuss or complain regardless of what life threw at her
• A woman who loved her family dearly
• A woman who was creative and made beautiful crafts
• A woman who was an excellent cook
• A woman with the most wonderful laugh and beautiful smile
• A woman who was always so easy to talk to
• A woman who was welcoming and hospitable--I will so miss being able to just walk into her house for a visit whenever

Some of my favorite memories with Grandma Diane...

• Watching her play bells growing up and then getting to play with her last spring. I loved the extra time this let me spend with her and the looks and smiles we would exchange from our different spots around the table.
• Making wedding boutonnières with her. She was so good at it, but still so humble. I loved getting to share in my wedding planning with her. 
• Sunday afternoon visits. I loved going over to their house for no reason other than to just spend time with them. 
• Making Kringle and other goodies. I especially remember helping get different desserts ready with her before Christmas several different times. She was always so patient and helpful.
• Family vacations when she came to a Minnesota lake house and to North Carolina with us. What a sweet time to share with her. I also loved the whole Clayberg family vacations we went on growing up. 
• Listening to she and Grandpa talk...they shared such a beautiful love. I am so thankful she doesn't have to miss him anymore. 
• Playing games like Boggle. My grandma was clever and quick and it was fun to see her in action--even if it meantime losing :) 
• Seeing her at different events my siblings, cousins, and I have been in. One of my favorites was when she came up to my bell choir concert at Bethel. It was so kind of her to come especially since I had always admired her playing in church. 
• Watching her with her children and grandchildren especially Sam. They had their own special relationship and it is easily seen in the way Sam adores looking at her picture and pointing her out to anyone sitting next to him. My favorite memory of the two of them is her always asking Sam for "two armed hugs". My aunts and uncles and cousins are proof of what a great grandmother and mother she was.

Things I most admire about Grandma Diane...

• Her selfless love
• Her strength 
• Her positive attitude 

Sometimes I struggle with feeling silly for missing my grandma so much because she was "only a grandma", but she wasn't "only a grandma" to me. She is big part of why I am the person I am today. She has been a positive example of what it looks like to be a godly woman. She has been one of my greatest supporters and encouragers. She has been one of my favorite people to see and visit with. She made me feel special and loved even though I was one of sixteenth grandchildren. She raised my mom and my aunts and uncles to be the people they are today which has contributed to how tightly knit the family is. She was a beautiful woman in so many ways and I could go on and on. 

Final thoughts...while it is so very hard to know she is gone, I know she is with Jesus and those of us left behind will be ok. 

 What a blessing her life was to me and will continue to be as I continue on following her example of Christlike living.  I hope to be a great wife like she was and someday be a great mother and grandmother as well.  

Charley and I with Grandma at Easter.  So thankful for this lovely picture!

Loved getting this hug on our wedding day...I will miss this hug so much. 

Yellow rose in honor of Grandma...what a beautiful favorite flower.  

Finally, my favorite song that reminds me of Grandma Diane and Grandpa Butch: "Remember When"

Thinking on goodbyes

I have been thinking a lot about goodbyes lately.  As humans, we say goodbye to people all the time.  Last week I told my kindergartners goodbye without much chance of seeing them again.  On Monday I said goodbye to a college friend with plans to see her again in a few weeks.  I said goodbye to my sister Shelby who is in London, we probably won't get the chance to skype again until she is back home.  I said goodbye to Michael yesterday before coming down to Iowa for the rest of the week.  Goodbyes are interesting...some are before long times apart, some for short, and some are for forever.  Sometimes you don't think about your goodbyes at all, while other times you spend a lot of time preparing for it.  Goodbyes can be forgetful or memorable.  Usually the memorable ones are the ones that are more emotional...two of my most memorable goodbyes were with people I loved.

The first was with Michael during the summer of 2011.  We were engaged, but were not spending our summer together.  He had come to visit me and camp and when he was leaving I was so sad to see him go.  I knew I was going to miss him a lot in the next few weeks and it brought a lot of tears.  That was a goodbye where I was planning to see him again in 2 or 3 weeks.

The other really memorable goodbye that is on my mind right now was my last goodbye to Grandpa Butch.  It was one we had been preparing for, but I hadn't planned out what I wanted to say.  In truth I don't remember much about what I said, but I remember him and what I felt and how hard it was to walk away.

Goodbyes can be painless or painful.  Often when we are in pain we turn to God and ask why it has to be this way.  We can get bitter or hardhearted, but that really isn't looking at Christ in the right light.  When we feel we are suffering and turn to Jesus, we should remember the pain he suffered for us so that we never have to say goodbye to him.  What love...to suffer so much in order to conquer death and safe sinners for himself.  Easter was over a week ago, but the truth remains that we have nothing if we don't have Jesus.  He didn't simply save sinners for life in Heaven, but for real life now.  My heart swells with love and thankfulness when I consider the grace and love He has shown to me.  Life can be hard with goodbyes and loneliness, but as a saint saved by God's sweet grace I never have to be alone.

Jesus, what a Friend for sinners!

Jesus, Lover of my soul;

Friends may fail me, foes assail me,

He, my Savior, makes me whole.

Refrain:

Hallelujah! what a Savior!

Hallelujah! what a Friend!

Saving, helping, keeping, loving,

He is with me to the end.

Jesus, what a Strength in weakness!

Let me hide myself in Him.

Tempted, tried, and sometimes failing,

He, my Strength, my victory wins.

Jesus, what a Help in sorrow!

While the billows over me roll,

Even when my heart is breaking,

He, my Comfort, helps my soul.

Life Lately

I can hardly believe we are halfway through February!  I also find it hard to believe that Michael and I have been married for 8 months now...crazy :)  We have really been enjoying 2013 so far...here is some of what we have been up to:

• We have started exercising and changing our eating habits which we both love and hate at the same time.  It is such a blessing to be able to do this together though and not alone!

• We became members at our church (Bethlehem Baptist) in January.  We love our church a lot and our so very excited about officially becoming members.  

• We enjoyed a weekend with Michael's friend Nathan and his wife Danielle.  They were up here the weekend of the Superbowl and we loved getting to hangout with another couple.  We played games, went out to eat, watched the game, etc.  We are very thankful for these two and always have fun when we get to see them. :)  

• The weekend after that Michael's parents were up here for a visit.  We hadn't seen them since Christmas so it was nice to get to spend time with them again.  Our nephew also turned one that Sunday so we had a little birthday party for him.  We love getting to spend time with either of our families and it was a well blessed weekend.  

• Unfortunately that weekend was followed by this last week of being sick and feeling gross.  I hardly ever get sick...or at least that used to be the case...but have now had the flu twice in our marriage.  That was followed by having icky head colds and just feeling lousy so we spent this last week resting and trying to feel better.  A week off of exercise was really nice, but it is not going to feel so nice when we start back up again after Michael gets home from work today :(  

• I have had the blessing of having a long term substitute position in a kindergarten room.  I work Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Friday.  This has been a really good experience and I have learned a lot.  I will have this job until the beginning of April and it's going to be sad to leave those kiddos when the time comes.  Seeking to do my best every day between now and then and praying for grace to show them grace and love each day.  

• I have been loving these two songs lately.  "The Power of the Cross" and "Speak Oh Lord" . The first is the Gospel.  I love when artists use their gifts to share the beauty of truth in a song.  Listen and be encouraged!  The second song is my prayer for my life right now.  I desire for God to speak to me and through me.  Pastor Jason talked yesterday at church about how we are stewards of grace.  He challenged us to consider if grace was staying stagnate like a lake in our own lives or if we are allowing it to flow like a river into the lives of others through using our gifts to serve them.  I want my life to be a river of grace flowing to others, blessing them, and always pointing to Christ.    

• Similar to the previous bullet, I have been overwhelmed lately by the love of my God and the countless ways he has blessed me through other people.  The ways he has used other people to shape me into the person I am today.  I am so thankful for so many people...people I know well and people I hardly know but interacted with for a time.  I am thankful for family and friends, old classmates and people I grew up with, people I went to college with, family friends, teachers, pastors and others who poured into my life, people I worked with at camp, etc.  So if you are reading this, you should know that I am thankful for you.  Whether you have had a big or small interaction with me and my life, you really have blessed me and played a role in teaching me something so thank you.  

In closing, here are two pictures from our Valentine's Day last week...love this man and so thankful to have him to walk through life with!