Reason #346

Wow, 20 days have passed since I began this countdown...that's almost 3 weeks!  Which is almost a month!  Bahaha, still so much time between now and our wedding day.  Sometimes this wait seems like it will be an eternity but other times I am able to recognize this time for what it is, a blessing.  It is such a gift to have this time to prepare to be Michael's wife.  Gleaning knowledge from other married couples and spending time in prayer are two things that I will be spending a lot of time doing these next 346 days.  I think one thing that makes this wait seem so long and awful sometimes is the fact that Michael and I have been apart for most of the summer and this will be the same next spring.  This summer I have definitely been reminded of my dislike for goodbyes (especially when I am sharing that farewell with Michael).  However, as I alluded to before, I recognize that God has given us not only this time to wait but also this time to be apart for a reason.  He is good and He loves us and we are to best glorify Him where we are at.  Sometimes I think Michael is better at this than I am, but I am certainly praying about this and striving to bring all praises to Him as we go through this wait and time apart.

And with that, here is today's reason for why I want to marry Michael Andrew Olson...

Reason #346: I am myself around you.

I have a tendency to be shy and reserved unless I feel comfortable around people or am thrust into a situation where I need to be leading.  However, even when I feel comfortable around people that does not mean I am fully being myself around them.  This has improved as I have gotten older and have longer been seeking to fix my eyes on Christ and not myself, but it has been a struggle.

I haven't always been myself around Michael...for example when we started dating, it we were taking pictures together (just the two of us) I had a really hard time smiling so instead I would make a face of some sort...here are some pictures:

Now granted, there were pictures of us smiling from these times, but I still remember how tense I was for some reason...ridiculous?  Of course!  Another thing I struggled doing around him was eating.  I was just so self-conscious about what I ate!  I would make sure I took really small portions and didn't get anything I liked that may have seemed weird (black olives would be an example of this).  I was nervous about this one for way longer than I needed to be...

I remember the first time I sang in front of Michael...that was a struggle, and I remember how hard it was for me to dance around him and do many other things.

But that is not the case anymore (and hasn't been for quite some time), I am able to be completely myself around him whether that's being goofy or sad, sharing his food or drink, telling him different things about myself, etc.  And he loves me still and I love him for that and for who he is.

So, Michael, thanks for being patient with me as I slowly became comfortable around you...you are my best friend and I love you and I am so excited to be marrying YOU in 346 days!  ♥