Wednesday, May 4, 2016

MOMS Nugget

I had the pleasure of getting to share a five minute testimony of what God has been teaching me this year at MOMS this week.  MOMS stands for Making Our Mothering Significant and it is one of the ministries for women at our church.  This is what I shared on Tuesday: 

"My initial thought when I considered speaking at this MOMS meeting was no.  I thought no for a couple of reasons.  One reason is because I’m a fairly new mother.  My son was born almost 14 months ago which made me wonder what I could possibly share that would bless you more seasoned mothers.  The other reason I had thought no was because when I reflected over the past year, I couldn’t think of anything big that happened.  I didn’t have a consistent trial or anything really dramatic happening that caused a lot of growth.  However, when I thought more about what this year has been like I realized it has been a huge year. Becoming a mom has been one of the most life changing things I have ever experienced. My son’s year was full of firsts for him and consequently full of firsts for our little family.  My day-to-day life also changed a lot when I decided to stay home with Harrison.  Instead of teaching and I spent my days taking care of our baby (and trying to stay on top of things like cooking and cleaning which has proven to be trickier than I anticipated).  Never has serving another person come so easily and yet still been so challenging and confusing at times.  

As Harrison’s mom, I was (well am) responsible for taking care of him (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.) and that is really quite daunting honestly.  You don’t want to screw up your kid.  And this is where God has met me countless times throughout this year.  He has met me in conviction of prideful attitude of thinking I’m doing all the right things and my kid is the best kid ever.  He has met me in conviction of frustration I’ve had after unwanted comments and suggestions from others.  He has met me in my disappointment as I have failed in many goals throughout the year.  He has met me in my loneliness.  He has met me in my concern that I’m not doing it right or as good as other moms when I get caught up in comparison.  He has met me in the legitimate fear that I cannot save Harrison and make him love Jesus.  He has met me in these places and so many more including the countless happy moments.  

In these things I have been so thankful to be loved by a God who is faithful.  To be loved and to be known.  He knows me in a way no one else can and He loves me still.  He sees me in my hurts and struggles and because of Jesus He doesn’t look away, but instead draws me to himself.  It is so sweet and glorious and fills me with amazement and wonder at how he continually provides me with grace each and every day.  And he does that for all of his children!  What a great God we have.  I have been doing a Bible Study by Beth Moore on the patriarchs and have been struck by God’s faithfulness to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He kept his promises to them even when they strayed and he does the same for us.  He met them in their fear and doubt and loneliness and confusion and the happy times too and he always provided what they needed.  He was committed to them and he is committed to us.  

A verse that has blessed me this year is Psalm 26:3 “For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness.” He provides us with what we need for each moment. He does not give us struggles and hurts to see how strong we are, but to show us how strong and steadfast he is.  Likewise he does not give us happy times to show how great we are, but how great he is.  He has promised to keep us always.  I can do nothing apart from God’s grace and I have been learning more of what it is to walk in his grace especially in this job he has given me of being Harrison’s mother."  



Wednesday, April 13, 2016

13 Months of Mommy-ing

Harrison is 13 months old today!  I decided I wanted to see how he has changed in the last year and here is what I found from a year ago today:
Morning snuggles
Getting a one month picture in
Daddy's home
And here are a couple of pictures I have from our time together today:
Reading some books
Enjoying the beautiful weather with a walk and some play time
What a fun 13 months it has been!  I love seeing how much he has grown and changed.  Some of my favorite developments from this last month are:

  • Harrison has been loving bringing me books to read him (again and again and again).  As a former teacher I find this to be extra delightful!  His two favorites right now seem to be a touch and feel animal book that includes a duckling, puppy, bunny, tiger, and kitty and Moo, Baa, La La La!  
  • We have been practicing pointing to different body parts.  So far he is pretty consistent with his nose and can sometimes get his tongue, hair, ears, eyes, and tummy.  
  • He is getting more confident with his standing alone.  The other night we practiced while dancing to some music.  Michael got some video of it which we of course think is quite funny.  
  • He loves going on walks!  Which gives me yet another reason to praise God for this wonderful weather we are experiencing! 
  • He is learning more words!  His most recent are 'boo' (sounds more like buh), 'uh oh', and 'papa'.  He has also gotten very good at signing 'more' at meal times!  
  • A few other things Harrison loves: seeing other people (especially kids), animals (especially dogs), eating (he will eat basically anything--today we enjoyed some dill pickles with our lunch), running around with his car or walker, practicing building with blocks, and playing peek-a-boo with our swinging doors
  • Some things Harrison is not wild about: getting dropped off at nursery (though he warms up and stops crying shortly after we leave), falling down (but who loves that), his block 'tower' falling down, and not getting what he wants
I loved the little baby boy days, but I sure am loving these new toddler boy days as well.  One thing I find that I am reminding myself of often is that not all babies are the same.  They are not all the same in their personalities, eating, sleeping, development, etc.  Remembering that God has designed each child perfectly has helped me to not be terribly antsy for Harrison to walk.  Of course, I do want him to walk and sometimes I wish he would try, but he is growing in his confidence little by little and I'm sure before too long he will walk and I will miss some of ease of these less mobile days.  

Friday, April 8, 2016

Apparently I Took A Year Off

It's funny how easy it is to put things off.  "I'll wash those dishes tonight after supper" (yes, I have thought that today), "Harrison can get his nails trimmed in a couple days", "I will start exercising next week", etc.  Sometimes we follow through on those delays and other times they become longer and longer.  That's kind of what happened with my writing here.  I didn't intend to take a year off, but it seems that I have.  I had things I wanted to write about and share, but I didn't because I kept putting it off for several reasons.

One reason was quite honestly time.  It has been interesting and wonderful becoming Harrison's mom.  I have learned a lot and one of those things is that not all babies nap the same.  I hadn't really thought about this before.  Harrison didn't start taking longer and more consistent naps until the last couple of months.  It wasn't uncommon for me to lay him down for a nap and start a 25 minute workout only to have him start crying 20 minutes in.  Oof...baby snuggles are wonderful, but sweaty baby snuggles are not always ideal.  That being said, while I have been staying home with Harrison, I often felt there were days where I didn't have time to exercise, eat, shower, or other basic things let alone write on here.

Another reason related to this would have to be laziness or lack of desire.  It takes time to write and express yourself while trying not to sound terribly foolish.  Oftentimes in the last year I haven't wanted to spend my spare time trying.  There were other things I was interested in doing, or if I was motivated to get something done there always seemed to be something more pressing (like Harrison's baby book--man what a project!).

There are two more reasons I can think of for why I haven't been writing.  One is the number of blogs and bloggers out there.  I don't really fancy myself a "blogger".  I am not cutesy, I am not full of cooking, cleaning, parenting, living, or any other tips.  I'm just a girl living the life God has given me and trying to do it to the best of my ability.  I didn't want my writing here to seem like I was being a "blogger".  I would rather be more of a reflector.  I want to write about some of what is happening in our lives and what I have been thinking about and I've decided I can do that without worrying about trying to fit into a 'blogger' mold.

The final reason I haven't been writing has been concern for others.  I have found as I have gotten older that the reality of life in this world can be really hard.  I know there are so many people who are dissatisfied with where they are in life.  They may be unhappy with where they are living, working, or with their lives just not progressing as they had hoped and dreamed.  My life right now is in our home with Harrison.  Not that I don't get out, I do, but most of my living is done here and I didn't want that to make others sad  when I write about aspects of this life I'm living that they may not have themselves.

All that said, I'm going to try to write more often (Ha!  It would be tricky to write less often than I have been!).  I'm not committing to a number of times per month or anything like that, I'm just going to legitimately try to write more often.  More than anything else this is a place I can reflect on what's going on in my life and share it with anyone who is interested.  If that's you, great!  If that's not you, that's all right too.

A picture from Harrison's first birthday...since it's been a year!